Wadatacce
- Me yasa wasu daga cikin mu ba su da abokai kadan bayan aure?
- Kowane aboki na musamman ne
- Me yasa muke tsammanin abokin aikin mu/matar mu zai zama komai namu?
"Kowane aboki yana wakiltar duniya a cikin mu, wata duniya da ba a haife ta ba har sai sun isa, kuma ta wannan taron ne kawai aka haifi sabuwar duniya."
- Anaï Nin, Littafin Dijital na Anaï Nin, Vol. 1: 1931-1934
Anyi karancin karatu akan darajar abota. Yawancin karatun suna nuna abin da ke kunna kwakwalwa yayin da muke tare da aboki sabanin baƙo. Wannan gaskiya ne ko da baƙon yana kama da mu.
"A cikin duk gwaje -gwajen, kusanci amma ba kamanceceniya ba ya bayyana don fitar da martani a cikin yankuna na farko na medial da yankuna masu alaƙa a cikin kwakwalwa," in ji Krienen. "Sakamakon ya nuna kusancin jama'a yana da mahimmanci fiye da abubuwan da aka yi imani da su yayin tantance wasu. Karanta Montague, PhD, na Kwalejin Kimiyya ta Baylor, ƙwararre kan yanke shawara da ƙwaƙƙwaran ilimin ƙwaƙwalwa, ya ce, "Marubutan suna magana da wani muhimmin sashi na ilimin zamantakewa-dacewar mutanen da ke kusa da mu," in ji Montague.
Me yasa wasu daga cikin mu ba su da abokai kadan bayan aure?
Don haka yayin da kimiyya ke cikin cewa akwai dacewar mutanen da ke kusa da mu, me yasa wasu daga cikin mu ba su da abokai kaɗan? Ba shakka ina magana ne game da abokai ido-da-ido maimakon abokai 500 da kuke da su akan Facebook ko mabiya 1000 akan Twitter.
Abinda nake gani a aikace na shine jinkirin mutuwar abota bayan aure. Bincike ya nuna cewa mata suna kula da abokai fiye da maza. Amma yaya mahimmanci muke ganin abokantaka Ina mamakin wannan saboda yayin aiki tare da ma'aurata, galibi ina mamakin tsammanin abokin tarayya ga juna. Abin da nake nufi shine, "idan kuna ƙaunata, za ku kula da duk bukatuna kuma ku zama komai na." Yanzu ban taɓa jin waɗannan ainihin kalmomin ba, amma tabbas na ji yadda ake ji.
Aure ko haɗin gwiwa yana ɗaya daga cikin mafi kusancin alaƙar da mutum zai iya yi, amma ba ita ce kawai dangantakar da mutum zai iya yi ba.
Kowane aboki na musamman ne
Lokacin da muke duban namu abokantaka, zamu iya ganin duk fuskoki daban -daban abokan mu suna da su. Kowane aboki yana yi mana hidima dabam. Aboki ɗaya yana da kyau don yin tambayoyi na ƙira ko ƙira, yayin da wani aboki shine wanda zai je gidajen tarihi da. Wani aboki na iya zama mai girma a cikin gaggawa, yayin da wani yana buƙatar sanarwar da aka tsara. Kowane aboki yana ƙona wani abu a cikin mu. Wani abu da wataƙila bai bayyana ba har sai wannan abokin ya iso. Irin son zance a farkon wannan yanki.
Wanda ya kawo ni ga wannan tambayar:
Me yasa muke tsammanin abokin aikin mu/matar mu zai zama komai namu?
Na shaida abokan haɗin gwiwa sun firgita da ra'ayin cewa abokin tarayya ba ya son raba komai. Shin wannan manufa ce ta Ba'amurke cewa da zarar mun yi tarayya an rufe abubuwan da ake buƙata, ko za a iya magance duk matsalolin? Wani lokaci yin abubuwa yana nufin yarda da rashin yarda. Wasu lokuta dole ne kawai ku je wannan kide kide tare da aboki maimakon abokin tarayya saboda abokin tarayya baya son tafiya. Idan ka yi rashin lafiya fa? Ana iya buƙatar hannaye da yawa don kula da ku, ba ɗaya kawai ba. Abu ne mai nauyi ya zama ɗaya kaɗai. Haka ne, abokin tarayya shine babban abokin ku, amma ba ku kadai ba.
Ci gaba da yin aure/haɗin gwiwa don zurfin abota da kuma soyayya ta soyayya. Sake ƙulla abotarku don buɗe sabbin duniyoyi da kunna kwakwalwar ku. Waɗannan abota za su iya taimakawa kawai don haɓaka rayuwar ku ta haɗin gwiwa.