Wadatacce
- Menene soyayyar soyayya?
- Matakan soyayya na soyayya
- 1. Lokacin gudun amarci
- 2. Lokacin kebancewa
- 3. Soyayyar balaga/ Yanayin soyayya na gaskiya
Kullum muna neman soyayya, muna neman ta a duk wuraren da ba daidai ba da kuma wuraren da suka dace, amma koyaushe soyayya ita ce babban abin da mutane suka fi mayar da hankali akai. Tarihi ya cika da labaran soyayya na soyayya, kamar yadda aka daure masoyan tare- da shauki da motsin rai. Ko dai rashin son juna ne ko kuma fahimtar kasancewa abokan juna, soyayya ce ke iya haifar da haɗin kai tsakanin mutane biyu, mai ƙarfi- suna ƙarewa su zama ɗaya. Wannan ita ce soyayyar da duk muke nema.
Ƙauna ba ta son rai. Ba ya faruwa da zabin mutum. Kuna ganin mutum, kuma idan kuna jin sha'awar su- to wataƙila wata alama ce da ke nuna kuna soyayya. Haɓaka ji don wani shine farkon kowane labarin soyayya. Don haka, yayin da kuka je ku kusanci wannan mutumin, kuna magana, ku sadu da wasu ƙarin lokuta kuma abu na gaba da kuka sani, ku duka kuna cikin dangantaka.
Ba don hanzarta abubuwa ba, amma soyayya ba kawai son wani bane. Soyayyarku ta soyayya za ta bi wasu matakai kaɗan har sai ta kai ga matakin 'soyayyar' gaskiya 'ta soyayya.
Menene soyayyar soyayya?
Za a iya bayyana ma'anar soyayya ta soyayya a matsayin abin da ke zama son sha'awa ko jan hankali tsakanin masoya. Nau'in soyayyar da ke sa zuciyarka ta yi sauri, gwuiwowinku masu rauni kuma ku sami kanku cikin nutsuwa koyaushe cikin tunanin abokin tarayya.
Soyayyar soyayya ita ce matakin farko na soyayya a cikin kowane alaƙa kuma yana haifar da tasirin hormonal kawai yayin da kwakwalwar ku ke fitar da sinadarai waɗanda ke sa ku ji daɗi ko sha’awa. Wannan shine abin da ke motsa kusancin ku, sha'awar ku kuma mafi mahimmanci, sha'awar ku.
Soyayyarku ta soyayya alama farkon wani sabon abu. Yayin da kuke haɓaka haɓakawa ga abokin tarayya, ku koyaushe ana kusantar juna koyaushe saboda tsananin motsawa don haɗin gwiwa. Soyayyar soyayya galibi tana dogara ne akan jan hankalin jima'i ga jinsi na daban- jin daɗin da ke tsakanin dukkan mutane.
Matakan soyayya na soyayya
Kamar yadda kwatsam kuma ba zato ba tsammani yana iya zama cewa soyayya tana shiga rayuwar ku ba tare da wani wuri ba, duk da haka zai ɗauki lokaci don girma da haɓaka cikin shekaru. Wannan ya zama dole don haɓaka dangantaka mai ƙoshin lafiya domin idan soyayyar soyayya ta dogara ne kawai akan sha'awar wani, to zata mutu cikin 'yan watanni kaɗan.
Dangantaka tana tafiya sama da kasa a kowane lokaci, amma muddin ka sadaukar da kai, mai aminci da rikon amana a cikin abokin huldarka, tabbas soyayyarka za ta kai ka wurare.
1. Lokacin gudun amarci
Wannan yana zama mafi kyawun lokaci mai kayatarwa da jan hankali ga masoya. A cikin wannan matakin, zaku sami kanku koyaushe a kusantar da abokin tarayya don sha'awar jima'i da farko. Duk lahani da rashin daidaiton abokin tarayya ba su da wata mahimmanci, kuma sha’awa ce kawai za ta zama mahimmanci. Kwakwalwar ku, a ƙarƙashin tasirin hormones kamar dopamine da serotonin, za su ci gaba da kasancewa cikin yanayi mai daɗi koyaushe.
Kuna daidaita sauran mutum sosai don haka zaku sami kanku cikin nutsuwa cikin tunanin mai son ku kusan koyaushe. Wannan yana tare da sha'awar ciyar da lokutan motsa jiki tare da abokin tarayya.
Lokaci na lokacin amarci yana cike da shauki wanda ke sa soyayya ta ji kamar yadda aka saba bayyanawa a fina-finai, litattafai, da wasan kwaikwayo- don kasancewa cikin almara.
2. Lokacin kebancewa
Koyaya, a cikin 'yan watanni, shakuwar ba da daɗewa ba ta ƙare, kuma duk tasirin hormones ya fara ƙarewa. Wannan shine lokacin da zaku fara koyo game da abokin tarayya kuma ku gane halayensu, na yau da kullun, tunani, imani, da sauransu.
Kuna daina yin riya a gaban juna yayin da sha’awa da sha’awa ta ƙare. A wannan lokacin, gaskiyar ta buge ku sosai lokacin da kuka ga abokin tarayya ba cikakke bane kamar yadda kuka ɗauka.
A cikin yawancin alaƙar, yayin da glam ɗin matakin amarci ya ƙare, abokan hulɗa sukan sami kansu cikin fushi da juna, wanda ke haifar da faɗa da jayayya.
Yana buƙatar haƙuri mai yawa don zama, da warware matsalolin ku kamar manyan balagagge don ci gaba da alaƙar ku.
Kasance masu aminci da girmamawa ga abokin tarayya a ko'ina, kuma zai taimaka muku shawo kan matsaloli da yawa.
3. Soyayyar balaga/ Yanayin soyayya na gaskiya
Idan kuka tambayi menene soyayyar soyayya ta gaskiya, to za a bayyana ta azaman lokacin bayar da dabara da salama lokacin da soyayyar ku ta canza zuwa mafi tsarinta. Kodayake duk sha'awar jima'i da motsin rai mai zafi suna shuɗewa, amma kuna daidaitawa da abokin tarayya.
Dukanku kun fahimci kuma kuna girmama bukatun juna, kuma a yanzu ne soyayya ta kulla alaƙar da ba ta rabuwa tsakanin ku. Ibada ce ta kai ga samun nasarar aure wanda aka gina shi akan ginshiƙan tallafi na zuciya, sadaukarwa, fahimta, sasantawa, mutuntawa, abota, da amana.
Kuna raba kyawawan lokuta, na ɗan lokaci tare da ƙaunataccen ku kuma kuna raba barkwanci kuma kuna jin buɗewa don zargi. Irin wannan ƙaunar tana dawwama kuma tana da ma'ana inda zaku gane cewa kun kasance cikin kauri da bakin ciki tare da abokin tarayya. Don haka, koyaushe kuna shirye ku kasance tare da abokin rayuwar ku ba tare da wani larura na sha’awa ba. Shine mafi natsuwa da gaskiyar soyayya.
Kullum muna neman soyayya. Amma lokacin da soyayya ta zo muku, shine lokacin da kuka fahimci labarin ku na iya zama da ma'ana.
Duk labaran soyayya sun cancanci samun ƙarshen farin ciki. Kuma idan kai da abokin aikinka sun sadaukar da kai don yin abubuwa suna aiki, ƙauna za ta haɗa ku duka a cikin irin wannan tafiya ta sihiri irin wacce baku taɓa fuskanta ba.