Wadatacce
Sau nawa muke kula da fitilun zirga -zirgar rayuwarmu? Yana da lafiya a gudanar da jan wuta? Hasken rawaya fa? Za mu iya tilasta haske ya zama kore? Menene alakan fitilun zirga -zirga da aure?
Hanyoyin “Traffic Lights” a cikin shawarwarin aure kafin aure ya shafi batutuwa da batutuwan da yawancin ma’aurata ke fuskanta a cikin aurensu. Manufar ita ce a ilimantar da ɗaliban da ke fuskantar ƙalubalen da ke gaba domin su kasance masu ƙarancin matsala idan ko lokacin faruwa.
Idan so zai yi girma da bunƙasa, shin aure baya buƙatar tushe mai kyau don hakan ta faru? Tushen ilimi, gaskiya, amincewa, ƙauna, da yarda yana inganta ƙalubalen dogon aure. Idan muna son fuskantar matsalolinmu kafin su zama matsaloli kuma mu yanke shawara game da ko za mu iya yarda da yuwuwar, to, kuma kawai sannan, tare da wannan ilimin, shin za mu kasance cikin shiri don ci gaba tare da kwarin gwiwa cewa wannan auren zai dawwama.
Kula da fitilun zirga -zirga
A cikin Hanyoyin Traffic suna ba da shawara kafin aure, muna yin tunani kan batutuwa ashirin da ɗaya ko batutuwan da aka saba samu a cikin aure. Wadannan su ne:
- Shekaru,
- Hali,
- Sana'a/Ilimi,
- Yara,
- Amfani da miyagun ƙwayoyi,
- Motsa jiki/Lafiya,
- Abota,
- Goals,
- Surukai,
- Mutunci,
- Lokacin hutu,
- Yanayin rayuwa,
- Dubi/jan hankali,
- Kudi, (babban dalilin da yasa mutane ke saki)
- Dabi'a/hali,
- Iyaye,
- Siyasa,
- Addini,
- Jima'i/kusanci
Nagari - Darasin Aure Kafin
A cikin wannan tsari, kowane abokin aure mai yuwuwar yana yin tunani kan magana ɗaya a lokaci guda, misali, “kuɗi”. Ina sanya jerin cikakkun tambayoyi game da zaɓaɓɓen taken. Sannan matar da za ta aura ta raba matsayin ko kallon da suke hasashen bin bayan sun yi aure. Mace mai sauraro ba ta yin hukunci amma tana yin tambayoyi ne kawai, idan ya cancanta, don bayyana sarai game da inda saurayin nasu zai tsaya.
Wannan ba shine wurin tattauna ra'ayoyi ba. Manufar ita ce yanke shawara idan abin da suka ji daga abokiyar aurensu game da wani batu ya yarda da su.
Da zarar mai sauraro ya ji sun fahimci matsayin matattararsu gaba ɗaya, sai na tambaye su da su ba da ƙima ta amfani da kwatancen fitilun zirga -zirga:
GREEN yana nufin "Ina son abin da na ji, kuma ba ni da wata matsala ta samun wannan hanyar neman kuɗi> a cikin aure."
YAYI haske yana nufin "Ina son wasu abubuwan da nake ji amma ina fatan wasu hanyoyin da matata za ta bi za su bambanta bayan mun yi aure." Wannan yana da haɗari ƙwarai - kamar kunna hasken rawaya. Kuna iya lafiya, amma ????
JA haske yana nufin cewa kusancin abokin auren ku game da wannan batun shine mai warware yarjejeniya. Kuna jin adawa da yawancin abin da kuke ji kuma zai yi muku wahala a cikin auren ku.
Matsakaicin Kudin Bikin
Kodayake farashin yanki ya bambanta da yawa, matsakaicin farashin bikin aure a Amurka yana hauhawa. Dangane da www.costofwedding.com, alal misali, bikin aure a Camarillo, California, alal misali, matsakaita $ 38, 245 tare da ma'aurata a can suna kashe tsakanin $ 28, 684 da $ 47,806. Kuma wannan yawanci ba ya haɗa da farashin lokacin amarci da sauran ƙarin abubuwa! Da yawan kudin da aka kashe wajen bikin aure, nawa ake kashewa a auren? Wanne ya fi muhimmanci, bikin aure ko auren?
Tare da fiye da rabi na duk auren da ke ƙare cikin saki, a bayyane yake cewa ba a saka isasshen ƙoƙari a cikin aure ba. Mene ne idan ma'aurata sun saka adadin daidai gwargwado a kan auren kamar yadda suka yi a bikin auren? Shin hakan zai canza sakamakon? Menene ya zama dole don inganta ƙalubalen auren da ke dawwama “har mutuwa ta raba mu”? Shin soyayya ce? Kudi? Karfinsu? Ko watakila yana da wani abu dabam? Nawa ne ainihin abin da muka sani game da mutumin da muka zaɓa mu aura?
Sau da yawa, ma'auratan da ke sakin suna cewa, "Shi (ko ita) ya canza kuma wannan shine dalilin da yasa muke kashe aure." Ƙarshen su shine, "Mun rabu kuma yanzu mun bambanta." Yana da ban sha'awa cewa yawancin mutane za su yarda kuma su fahimci cewa kusan kowa ya bambanta da matar sa daga ranar ɗaya daga cikin alaƙar su, don haka - shin mutane suna canzawa da gaske? Wataƙila ba haka ba ne. Amma mun dauki lokaci don sanin ainihin abokin auren mu?
A ƙalla, ina tsammanin lokaci yayi da za mu tattauna a farkon matakan shirin aure don ƙirƙirar shirin aiwatarwa don gano tushen aure, ƙara ƙalubalen nasarar sa. Wataƙila sabon ƙarfafawa kan abin da ake nufi da yin aiki na iya dacewa. A halin yanzu ga yawancin, yin aiki yana nufin "Muna soyayya kuma za mu yi babban bikin aure!" Babban aure fa? Wataƙila yin aiki yana nufin "Lokaci ne na ƙarshe, mafi kyawun damar yin duk abin da nake buƙatar yi don gano abubuwan da ake buƙata don kafuwar aure mai ƙarfi."
Babban burin shirin Traffic Lights ba shine tabbatar da ma'aurata sun yi aure ba, a'a idan har har yanzu sun yanke shawarar yin aure ko da sun duba waɗannan batutuwa ashirin da ɗaya, za su yi aure idanunsu a buɗe. A gogewa na, wannan tsari yana rage buƙatar saki. Ta yin hakan, muna haɓaka ƙalubalen samun ainihin ilimi, gaskiya, amincewa, ƙauna, da karɓa.