Wadatacce
Lokacin da komai ke tafiya daidai a cikin alaƙar, abokan hulɗa ba sa saurin yin tunani da nazarin abubuwa kuma suna ɗaukar komai da komai. Koyaya, daga lokacin matsalolin farko suka fara, suna fara yiwa kansu tambayoyi. Wannan ya zama ruwan dare a rayuwar soyayya ga kowane ma'aurata.
Shin sun sami abin da suke tsammani daga auren su? Shin sune sababin wadannan matsalolin? Shin abokin tarayyarsu shine daidai?
Wannan al'ada ce kuma tambayar kanku abu ne da yakamata ku yi kowane lokaci in kuna son inganta dangantakar ku kuma ku zama mutum mafi kyau.
Auren zamani
Menene hakikanin ma'anar aure?
Aure yana ɗaya daga cikin muhimman cibiyoyi amma yanzu, yana saurin rasa ƙarfi.
Koyaya, ba sabon abu bane a ji labarai game da ma'auratan da suka bar abokan zamansu, abin da ba a saba gani ba a baya. Jama'a ba masu hukunci bane ga wannan aikin a rayuwar soyayya ga kowane ma'aurata.
Kodayake bai kamata mu yi watsi da gaskiyar cewa ga alama ma’aurata da yawa suna amfani da kashe aure a matsayin mafita duk da akwai gyara. Aure da saki sun dauki sabon salo kuma yayin da duniya ke canzawa, ma'auratan na zamani suna maraba da canje -canjen.
Bugu da ƙari, mutane sun canza tunaninsu - al'ada ce ga matasa biyu su zauna tare kafin yin aure kuma su ƙara koyo game da juna. Wannan tsarin aure ɗaya ne wanda aka yarda kusan ko'ina.
Ko ta yaya, soyayya ita ce, ba tare da la’akari da ko muna magana game da abokin tarayya ba, iyaye, ko soyayya ta sada zumunci, wani abu da ya cancanci ƙoƙarin.
A zamanin yau, lokacin da mutane da yawa ke cikin matsin lamba daga matsalolin yau da kullun, musamman waɗanda ke akwai, aure da haɗin gwiwa galibi ana yin watsi da su. Mutane da yawa sun yi imanin cewa rawar soyayya a cikin aure da alaƙa na dogon lokaci wani abu ne na halitta. Amma, shin?
Matakan dangantaka
Akwai matakai da yawa waɗanda kowace dangantaka ke shiga.
Kashi na farko sau da yawa ana bayyana shi da kasancewa cikin soyayya ko samun murkushewa. A cikin rayuwar soyayya ga kowane ma'aurata, wannan shine matakin soyayya da jan hankali.Tare da matakan dopamine, oxytocin, da norepinephrine, ana iya samun illolin waɗannan sunadarai kamar rashin bacci ko asarar ci.
Bidiyon da ke ƙasa yana bayanin sinadaran soyayya da yadda suke sarrafa yadda muke ji.
Akwai jin dadi a matakin farko na alakar. Wannan shine jin da mutane ke yi a farkon dangantakar lokacin da suka yi imani cewa a ƙarshe sun sami abokin haɗin gwiwa.
Mataki na biyu shine matakin rikicin dangantaka. A cikin wannan matakin, komai yana bayyana sosai a cikin alaƙar. Akwai bambanci tsakanin matakin farko da na biyu na alakar.
A wannan matakin, sun fara tambayar halayen da suka haɓaka cikin wannan ɗan gajeren lokaci. Misali, ziyartar iyayen abokin tarayya, lura da cewa abokin aikin yana aiki da yawa, da sauransu.
A daya bangaren kuma, dayan abokin aikin zai fara aiwatar da dabi'un da suka aikata a baya kamar zamantakewa, kula da abubuwan sha'awarsu, da dai sauransu A cikin kyakkyawar dangantaka, akwai lokacin daidaitawa. Wannan shine lokacin da alaƙar ta zama mai mahimmanci kuma wannan shine lokacin da yawanci ke haifar da aure.
Mataki na uku shine matakin aiki ma'aurata suna samun daidaituwa a cikin alaƙar. Akwai zaman lafiya, kwanciyar hankali, da yarda cikin alakar.
A wannan matakin, ku duka biyun kun yarda da juna kuma kun san yadda ake aiki a kusa da aibun juna. Rayuwar soyayya ga kowane ma'aurata a wannan matakin ya kai matsayin gida. Ku biyu kun san juna sosai kuma kuna samun jituwa a cikin junan ku.
Mataki na hudu shine matakin sadaukarwa yayin da ku duka kuka cimma wani abu na ban mamaki. Dukanku kun fahimci ainihin ma'anar soyayya. Anan, dangantakar ta kai babban matakin inda sadaukarwar ta zama daga zuciya da tunani.
Kuna ɗokin sabon tafiya na sauran maƙasudin alaƙa, gida, da yara.
Mataki na biyar shine ainihin lokacin soyayya. A wannan matakin, ku duka za ku zama masu amfani da ƙarfin gwiwa game da soyayya a rayuwar aure. Rayuwar soyayya ga kowane ma'aurata yana canzawa a wannan lokacin yayin da suke fara sa ido ga abubuwan da ke tsakanin alakar su.
Shin zai yiwu a kasance cikin soyayya har abada?
Akwai mutane da yawa da suke rikita soyayya da aure.
To, menene soyayya a cikin aure? Yadda ake nuna soyayya a cikin aure?
Soyayya abin ji ne a zuciya da haɗin gwiwa galibi aiki ne wanda kuke buƙatar kammala wasu "ayyuka" kamar tsaftacewa, dafa abinci, kula da takardar kudi, ilimin yara, ma'amala ta kusa, da dai sauransu. .
Tabbas, wannan baya nufin rayuwar soyayya ga kowane ma'aurata abu ne na zahiri. Soyayya tana da matukar muhimmanci a cikin aure. Amma abin mamaki mutane da yawa sun kasa fahimtar me soyayya ke nufi a cikin aure da lalata auren su.
Misali, mutane sukan rikita soyayya da mallaka. Babu wani laifi idan ɗayan abokan haɗin gwiwar ya je wasan ƙwallon ƙafa ko wasan kwaikwayo tare da abokansu. Akwai kuma yanayin da ɗaya daga cikin abokan hulɗa ya dogara da abokin tarayya da yawa. Yana da matukar wahala mutum ɗaya ya “ɗauki nauyi” ga mutane biyu.
Rayuwar soyayya ga kowane ma'aurata abu ne da yakamata a yaba kuma a yaba. Akwai wasu abubuwa kamar sadarwa mai kyau, saduwa ta zahiri, da fita daga tsarin yau da kullun wanda zai iya inganta rayuwar soyayya ga ma'aurata masu farin ciki da ƙirƙirar rayuwar aure mai nasara.