Wadatacce
- Tafiyar aure
- Aure ba santsi ba ne
- Gano ainihin musabbabin rikice -rikice
- Tafiya ta aure ta bambanta ga maza da mata
Aure ya sha bamban a yau fiye da shekaru ɗari da suka wuce. Matsayin miji da mata ba su da tabbas, kuma ga alama al'ummarmu ba ta da wasu ƙa'idodi masu ƙayatarwa. Duk da haka, yawancin mutane suna da babban tsammanin gamsuwa na soyayya a cikin aure, gami da babban fatan samun waraka da ci gaban mutum. Kowane abokin tarayya yana ɗokin, cikin sani ko ba da sani ba, ga ɗayan don warkar da raunin ƙuruciyarsu, da ƙauna, karɓa, da ƙaunarsu.
Tafiyar aure
Tafiyar aure ta jarumi ce da jarumar tafiya tare da abubuwan ban mamaki da yawa ciki har da gogewar fuskantar fargabar ku, samun ƙarfin hali, gano masu ba da shawara, koyan sabbin dabaru, da mutuwa ga tsohon hankalin ku wanda ke jin wani abu kamar ɓacin rai kafin ya ji kamar sabon da rayuwa mai mahimmanci. Zai ɗauki lokaci don tafiya kan wannan kasada, amma ƙoƙarin ɗan adam ne da ya cancanta. Yana da yuwuwar canza kwarewar ku ta soyayya zuwa wani abu mai tsananin ƙarfi fiye da yadda kuke zato.
Aure ba santsi ba ne
Tafarkin gwarzon soyayya da jaruma bai kamata ya zama tafiya mai santsi ba. Babu gajerun hanyoyi. Ganin duniya, kanku, da abokin tarayya daga babban hangen nesa koyaushe babban tsari ne na shimfidawa da barin. Fahimtar tsarinmu don saduwa da warware waɗancan gogewa a cikin yanayin ci gaban balagagge zai ba ku damar yin tunani kan rayuwar ku, da kuma ƙarfafa ku don amfani da ƙalubalen da ke cikin auren ku don haɓakawa da haɓaka cikin dangantakar soyayya.
Mijina Michael Grossman, MD(Likitan farfadowa mai tsufa wanda ya ƙware a cikin maye gurbin hormone na bioidentical da farfaɗar ƙwayar sel), yana ba da labarin yadda muka gane da gyara matsalar a rayuwar auren mu-
"Labarinmu wanda ke haifar da canjin namu ya fara ne a farkon shekarunmu na talatin lokacin da dare ɗaya, wani hadari na Kudancin California ya kusanci unguwarmu. Barbara ta matsa min don in yi magana game da wasu matsalolin motsin rai a cikin auren mu yayin da na kasa hakuri don yin bacci. Amma duk da haka da ta matsa min, sai na fusata. Na gaji da aiki kuma na yi marmarin in huta kuma in yi barci. Kowane mintoci kaɗan, walƙiya mai nisa ta yi ta tashi a cikin ɗakin kwanan mu, kuma bayan 'yan sakanni bayan haka sai wasu tsawa masu girgizawa su kaɗa. Barbara ta dage kan cewa ba ni da hadin kai, mara hankali, kuma ba na son yin magana game da batutuwan, amma na ci gaba da kashe ta ta hanyar cewa na gaji da jira har gobe bayan mun dan samu bacci. Duk da haka, ta dage kuma mu duka mun fusata.
Barbara ta ci gaba da nacewa, har zuwa ƙarshe, mu duka mun fashe. Na yi ihu, "Kai mai son kai ne sosai," wanda ta sake ihu, "Ba ku damu da ni ba!"
Fushi yana haifar da lalacewa
A dai -dai lokacin, a tsakiyar kukanmu da kururuwa, wani walƙiyar walƙiya ta girgiza gidan da ƙarar kurma! Babbar walƙiya ta haskaka ɗakin kwanan mu kamar hasken rana na ɗan lokaci, kuma ta kunna walƙiyar wuta ta hanyar ƙarfe mai kariya a kusa da murhu. Sako daga sama? Mun yi mamaki cikin shiru kuma muka dubi juna kawai, ba zato ba tsammani mun fahimci ikon lalata fushin mu.
A daidai lokacin kuma can duka mun san muna buƙatar samun hanyar da ta fi dacewa don sadarwa da kuma biyan buƙatun motsin zuciyarmu. ”
Gano ainihin musabbabin rikice -rikice
A cikin kowane aure, akwai batutuwan da ke haifar da faɗa iri -iri. Yaƙin na iya ɗaukar sifofi daban -daban kuma ya bayyana a cikin yanayi daban -daban, amma ya ci gaba da kasancewa iri ɗaya a cikin ainihin. Ka yi tunani game da aurenka da kuma irin abubuwan da kake yi na rashin jin daɗi. Ƙuduri mai zurfi don warware waɗancan batutuwan da ke cikin aure suna buƙatar kowane miji da mata su yi tafiya ta warkarwa a matsayin mutum ɗaya, da haɗin warkarwa ta haɗin gwiwa a matsayin abokan tarayya.
Tsarin warkar da aurena da Barbara ya buƙace ni da in koyi sabbin dabaru da samun sabbin iyawa, waɗanda duk da alama sun yi yawa da farko. Sauraren matata abu ne da ya zama dole na koyi yi — ko da yana da zafi.
Michael ya tuna zama a cikin ajin horon sadarwa kuma ya haɗu tare da ɗalibi bazuwar da kwanaki, dole ne ya saurari takwaransa kuma ya ba da ra'ayi game da ba abin da ta ce kawai ba, har ma da abin da ya yi tunani game da ainihin abin da take ji. Ya yi kyau sosai wajen bayyana abin da ɗan ajinsu ya faɗa, amma ba shi da masaniya game da yadda take ji. Ko da tare da jerin kalmomin taimako don bayyana motsin rai, ya gaza. Sai a lokacin ne kawai ya fahimci yana buƙatar girma a cikin wannan duniyar ta rayuwa.
Tafiya ta aure ta bambanta ga maza da mata
Tafiyar jarumar ta ɗan bambanta da namiji da mace. . Bayan mutum ya koyi ƙwarewa a shekarunsa na 20 zuwa 30, yana buƙatar koyan tawali'u a shekarun baya. Bayan mace ta koyi haɗin gwiwa, tana buƙatar nemo muryar ta a cikin 30's da 40's. Tafarkin jarumi da jaruma bai kamata ya zama tafiya mai santsi ba. Matsaloli masu wahala da sauyin rayuwa ba makawa a cikin alaƙar soyayya. Babu gajerun hanyoyi. Ganin duniya, kanku, da abokin tarayya daga babban hangen nesa koyaushe babban tsari ne na shimfidawa da barin.
Tunanin cewa wani abu bai kamata ya same mu ba a wannan tafiya ko kuma ba mu cancanci wannan zafin motsin rai ya fito daga wannan ɓangaren namu ba wanda ke ƙoƙarin kiyaye ƙarancin hangen nesan mu. Wannan halin yana toshe ci gaba a tafiya ta warkarwa. Daga mahangar mu a matsayin mai son kai, mai son kai mai son kai, koyaushe ana rage mana canji, yaudara, zaluntar mu, kuma ba mu da ƙima kamar yadda muke tsammani. Daga babban hangen nesa, kamar yadda Allah zai dube mu, muna buƙatar a yi aiki a kan mu, a fasa mu, a gyara mu, a canza mu zuwa mai hikima da ƙauna.
Haƙƙin tunani da haɓakawa wanda ke haifar da rikice -rikicen mutane biyu a cikin haɗin gwiwa da sha'awar lokaci ɗaya na ƙauna da dangi yana da ƙarfi kuma yana da lada. Shi ne ke haifar da waraka da zurfafa soyayya. Manufar mu ita ce ta tallafa wa tafiyar ku don ku cika iyawar auren ku.