Wadatacce
Menene soyayya? To, wannan ita ce tambayar shekaru. Dangane da ilimin soyayya da aure, ji ne. Yana da zabi. Kaddara ce.
Me kuka yi imani game da soyayya, kuma ta yaya ta canza a tsawon shekaru? Kodayake ƙauna na iya zama daban kuma tana nufin wani abu daban ga kowa, duk muna son sa.
Masana ilimin halayyar aure da dangantaka sun daɗe suna nazarin manufar soyayya da aure.Sun sami wasu ƙaƙƙarfan soyayya da gaskiyar ilimin halayyar ɗan adam a cikin shekarun da suka gabata, waɗanda har yanzu suna da darajar yin nazarin ilimin halin ɗan adam, aƙalla yawancin mu duka za mu iya yarda da su:
Dangane da binciken ilimin halayyar soyayya da aure, akwai “soyayyar gaskiya” kuma akwai “soyayya kwikwiyo”.
Yawancin mutane sun san son kwikwiyo a matsayin son zuciya ko so. Alamar ba da labari ita ce yawanci tana zuwa da sauri da sauri. Akwai babban abin jan hankali a can wanda ke rufe hankali da jiki.
Sau da yawa, soyayya kwikwiyo ba ta dawwama. Dukanmu mun shaku da kawunanmu; yana kwaikwayon so na gaskiya amma ba daidai bane. Mai yiyuwa ne ta bunkasa cikin soyayya ta gaskiya.
Soyayya shine ji da zabi
Dangane da ilimin soyayya da ilimin aure, yana da wuyar bayyanawa, amma soyayya so ne da kuke ji a cikin zurfin ruhin ku. Lokacin da kuka fara ɗora idanu akan sabon jaririn ku, ko kuka kalli matar aure a ranar bikin ku - kawai kuna jin farin ciki kuma kuna son yin wani abu ga wannan mutumin.
Amma bayan wannan motsin zuciyar, soyayya ma zaɓi ce. Za mu iya zaɓar yin aiki da waɗancan ji ko a'a.
Yawanci yin aiki da waɗancan abubuwan yana haifar da ƙarin ƙauna, da sauransu. Wasu lokuta wasu suna da wahalar ƙauna, amma har yanzu muna iya zaɓar mu ƙaunace su.
Wannan ma soyayya ce, amma a matsayin zabi; ko da yake a cikin wannan damar yana iya haɓaka cikin motsin soyayya.
Tare da wannan, ma'aurata da yawa suna fada cikin soyayya. Me ya sa? Wannan yana da alaƙa da yadda mutane ke canzawa akan lokaci, da kuma yadda muke jin daɗin juna.
Factsaya daga cikin abubuwan ban sha’awa game da aure shi ne cewa aure kullum aikin ci gaba ne.
Yana da mahimmanci yin aiki cikin ƙauna da haɓaka dangantakar don ci gaba da ƙaunar. Soyayya, duk da haka, tana canzawa akan lokaci, har bincike ya faɗi haka. Ba tare da tarbiyyantar da aure ba yana jujjuyawa da gajiyawa.
Ilimin halin soyayya ya ce za ku iya samun soyayya ba tare da aure ba, kuma kuna iya yin aure ba tare da soyayya ba. Amma, soyayya da aure ba sa rabuwa da juna.
Aure yawanci magana ce ta mutane biyu da ke ƙarfafa soyayya ga junansu cikin sadaukarwar rayuwa.
Duk muna bukatar soyayya. Wani abu game da zama ɗan adam yana buƙatar mu ji cewa an haɗa mu da juna, a karɓe mu, a ƙaunace mu. Hakanan ana son sa. Muna marmarin wasu su ƙaunace mu, kuma su ƙaunaci wasu.
Dangane da soyayya da ilimin halayyar aure, yana ba mu babbar manufa da motsawa don zama mafi kyau da rayuwa mai kyau.
Lokacin da aka ƙaunace mu a matsayin yara, kwakwalwarmu tana haɓaka cikin koshin lafiya, samun haɗin da ke yi mana hidima a duk rayuwarmu. Amma kuma wannan jin daɗin aminci da farin ciki shine abin da muke nema.
Gaskiya soyayya
Anan akwai wasu gaskiyar gaskiya mai ban sha'awa game da soyayya da aure.
Waɗannan hakikanin gaskiya game da ƙauna za su sa ku yi murmushi da raɗaɗin zuciya tare da annashuwa. Waɗannan bayanan ilimin soyayya da aure kuma zasu taimaka muku samun amsar tambayar, "menene soyayya da aure".
Waɗannan abubuwan ban sha'awa na tunani game da ƙauna suna ba da haske kan ilimin halayyar aure kuma suna fitar da gaskiyar ilimin halayyar ɗan adam.
Waɗannan abubuwan nishaɗi game da aure da ƙauna za su sa ku so ku ci gaba da kasancewa cikin wannan ɗumi da ɗumi, tare da abokin tarayya a cikin dawwamammiyar dangantaka.
- Ofaya daga cikin abubuwan ban sha'awa na tunani game da soyayya shine kasancewa cikin soyayya yana ba ku babban matsayi! Fadowa cikin ƙauna yana haifar da sakin hormones kamar dopamine, oxytocin, da adrenaline.
- Waɗannan hormones suna ba ku jin daɗi, nasara, da farin ciki. Lokacin da kuke soyayya, kuna da farin ciki sosai.
- Gaskiyar ƙauna ta gaskiya ta haɗa da yin la’akari da zaman ɓarna a matsayin alfarma mai alfarma wanda ke inganta lafiyar ku kuma yana rage zafi. Rungume abokin tarayya ko rungume su, yana rage yawan ciwon kai da damuwa.
- Rungume ƙaunataccen ƙaunataccen ku yana haifar da jin daɗin jin daɗin da mai rage zafin bacci ke yi, albeit ba tare da wani sakamako mai illa ba.
- Gaskiyar ilimin halin ɗabi'a game da soyayya da alaƙa suna nuna rawar alaƙa a cikin daidaita halayen mutum da tsarin tunani.
- Kasancewa cikin soyayya yana sa mutane su kasance masu kyakkyawan fata da kuma amincewa da kansu. Yana yana ƙarfafa mutane su kasance masu tausayi, tausayi kuma suna aiki daga wurin rashin son kai da kyakkyawan hangen nesa.
- Za ku iya amfana ƙwarai daga yin dariya tare. Hakikanin gaskiyar tunani game da soyayya yana nuna mahimmancin farin ciki da dariya a dangantaka, touting shi kamar dalili na tsawon rai, lafiya mai kyau, da gamsuwa da dangantaka.
- Ka miƙa godiya ta musamman ga mijinki ko matar don kiyaye ku lafiya. An halicci ɗan adam da ilimin halin ɗabi'a don rayuwa cikin ƙungiyoyi masu haɗin gwiwa ko haɗin gwiwa tare da takwarorinsu. Bayanan ilimin halin ɗabi'a game da aure suna nuna mahimmancin kusancin juna a cikin aure.
- Lokacin da abokan haɗin gwiwa suka sami tallafin motsa jiki, suna warkar da sauri daga rashin lafiya da raunin da ya faru. Lokacin soyayya da jin daɗin kyakkyawar alaƙa, yana ba da gudummawa ga ƙarancin hawan jini da ƙarancin ziyartar likitanku.
- Gaskiya game da auren soyayya sun cancanci ambaton mafi tsawo aure wanda ya dauki tsawon shekaru 86. Herbert Fisher da Zelmyra Fisher sun yi aure a ranar 13 ga Mayu 1924 a Arewacin Carolina, Amurka.
- Sun yi aure shekaru 86, kwanaki 290 har zuwa 27 ga Fabrairu 2011, lokacin da Mista Fisher ya rasu.