Wadatacce
- Har yaushe ya kamata ku yi soyayya kafin yin aure
- Shin lokacin saduwa kafin aure yana da mahimmanci?
- Yaushe ne lokacin da ya dace da yin aure
Lallai kun yi sa'a sosai idan kuna jin cewa a ƙarshe kun sami mutumin da kuke so ku aura.
Tun yaushe kuke tare? Shin kun kasance tare tsawon makonni 2 ko wataƙila kun kasance tare tsawon shekaru 4 ko fiye? Shin kun yi imani da wani takamaiman lokacin sanin tsawon lokacin da ake so kafin yin aure?
Har yaushe ya kamata ku yi soyayya kafin yin aure
Akwai wannan tambayar da yawancin ma'aurata za su fuskanta kuma shine "yaushe ya kamata ku yi soyayya kafin yin aure?"
Tabbas kun ji game da ƙa'idodin soyayya kuma tabbas ya haɗa da matsakaicin lokacin kafin ku iya sake kiran juna bayan kwanan farko da matsakaicin lokacin soyayya kafin yin alkawari kuma kar ku manta game da matsakaicin lokacin soyayya kafin aure.
Jin kamar kuna rayuwa da ku bisa umarnin?
Bangaren gaskiya idan kun mai da hankali kan tabbatar da cewa kun bi ta lambobin bisa kididdiga. Waɗannan lambobi ko jagora na iya taimaka muku da abokin aikinku don auna abubuwa da kyau. Wasu sun ce akwai dokar shekara 2, wasu suna cewa muddin kun san abokin aikin ku shine “ɗaya” to babu buƙatar jira.
Bari mu ga abin da masana suka ce. Anan akwai wasu tunatarwa masu mahimmanci akan tsawon lokacin yin aure kafin aure.
A cewar Madeleine A. Fugère, Ph.D., marubucin The Social Psychology of Attraction and Romantic Relationships, “Ba na tsammanin akwai cikakken lokaci, kamar yadda kowane mutum da yanayin ya ɗan bambanta. Kuma matakan balaga sun bambanta. ”
Lisa Firestone, Ph.D., masanin ilimin halin ɗabi'a da babban edita ya ce: "Babu lokacin da ya dace don yin aure kafin aure."
“Haƙiƙa kyakkyawar alaƙa ba ta da lokaci. Idan ma'aurata sun yi aure shekaru hamsin, amma sun kasance cikin zullumi da mu'amala da juna a waɗannan shekarun, da gaske ne aure mai kyau? Ko da auren da aka shirya yana aiki wani lokacin, kuma ba su yi kwanan wata ba. Tambayar ita ce: Shin da gaske kuna son wannan mutumin? ” ta kara.
Hakikanin gaskiya shine; babu yadda za a yi a yi saurin yin aure. Za a iya samun ra'ayoyi da yawa game da shi ko wataƙila wasu shugabannin biyu na abin da zai iya faruwa idan kun yanke shawarar ɗaura auren da wuri.
Matsakaicin lokacin yin soyayya kafin yin alkawari zai dogara da kai da abokin aikinka kuma mafi mahimmanci, cikin shirye -shiryen ku na yin aure da yin aure. Kowane ma'aurata sun bambanta kuma a cikin mafi kyawun hanya.
Yaya tsawon kwanan wata kafin yin aure da matsakaicin lokaci zuwa kwanan wata kafin gabatarwa za a iya ɗauka a matsayin jagora amma ba a yi niyyar hana ku ba da shawara da yin aure ba.
Shin lokacin saduwa kafin aure yana da mahimmanci?
Yaya tsawon lokacin da mutane ke yin aure kafin yin aure ko tsawon lokacin soyayya ba ya shafi kowa da kowa saboda kowane ma'aurata ya bambanta kuma abubuwan da ke kewaye da wannan batun ba su da ma'ana don sanya takamaiman lamba ko mulki.
Ian Kerner, PhD, LMFT, likitan ilimin likitanci mai lasisi, likitan mata da marubuci ya ba da shawarar cewa shekara ɗaya zuwa biyu na saduwa galibi lokaci ne mai kyau kafin ku ci gaba zuwa mataki na gaba ko dai alkawari ko aure da kansa.
Kodayake, matsakaicin tsawon dangantakar kafin shiga ko aure kawai yana jagorantar ma'aurata saboda dalilai masu zuwa:
- Ana buƙatar lokaci don sanin abokin tarayya. Dukanmu za mu iya faɗuwar kanmu cikin ƙauna amma wannan na iya zama na ɗan lokaci.
- Isasshen lokaci zuwa kwanan wata zai tabbatar da yadda ma'auratan ke ji da juna da kuma tabbatar cewa ba su girma daga “tsananin” ba na abin da suke ji.
- Bayan kusan watanni 26 na "lokacin soyayya" don sabbin ma'aurata sun zo gwagwarmayar iko ko lokacin rikici na alakar su. Idan ma'auratan sun jure wannan kuma sun zo da ƙarfi, wannan shine mafi kyawun tabbacin cewa a shirye suke.
- Wasu na iya so gwada fitar zama tare da farko wanda ke da nasa ribobi da fursunoni.
- Ma'aurata wanda kwanan wata ya fi samun damar fuskantar rikice -rikice a cikin alakar su, wanda al'ada ce. Wannan zai gwada yadda za su iya rike shi.
- Haɗuwa na tsawon lokaci kuma na iya ba ku ƙarin lokaci don ku shirya don rayuwar auren ku. Yanke shawarar yin aure ya bambanta da yin aure a zahiri kuma kar ku manta nauyin zama miji da mata.
Yaushe ne lokacin da ya dace da yin aure
Dalilin da ya sa ake da nasihohin “yaushe za ku jira yin aure” saboda yana nufin ma'auratan su kasance "a shirye" kafin su ci gaba da yin aure. Waɗannan nasihohi da jagororin suna nufin hana kashe aure.
Sanin lokacin da ya dace lokacin yin aure ya danganta da ma'aurata. Akwai ma'aurata da suka riga sun tabbata cewa an gama soyayya don aure kuma a zahiri sun tabbata cewa suna son daidaitawa.
Wasu sun ce aure ya danganta da shekaru, shekarun da kuka kasance tare, wasu kuma sun ce duk ya danganta da jin daɗin ku.
Kada mutanen da ke gaya muku cewa kun riga kun cika shekarun da suka dace, kuna buƙatar samun dangin ku, ko ma yadda ku da abokin aikin ku suke kama sosai tare.
Kuyi aure saboda kun shirya ba saboda wasu lamba ko ra'ayin wasu mutane ba. Don haka, har yaushe za ku jira don yin aure?
Amsar anan tana da sauƙi - babu lokacin sihiri dangane da tsawon kwanan watan kafin aure. Yana kawai ba ya aiki haka. Kuna iya komawa gare shi azaman jagora amma ba a matsayin doka ba.
Ba komai idan kun kasance tare tsawon makonni 2, watanni 5 ko ma shekaru 5. Sanin tsawon kwanan wata kafin aure na iya zama da taimako amma bai kamata ya hana ku ko abokin auren ku son yin aure ba muddin kun shirya domin wannan shine ainihin gwajin anan. Muddin kun dage, balaga, tsayayye, kuma mafi yawan shirye shiryen yin aure to yakamata ku bi zuciyar ku.