Wadatacce
- Dogaro da motsin rai vs ƙauna
- Soyayya: shin tausaya ce?
- Tambayoyi don warware tatsuniya - dogaro da tunani vs. soyayya
- Q1. Kuna farin ciki lokacin da kuke tare?
- Q2. Shin kai ma kuna farin ciki da lokacin "ni"?
- Q3. Shin tunanin rabuwa ya cika muku tsoro?
- Q4. Duniyar ku ta zama babba - Shin wannan soyayya ce?
- Ta yaya za a kasance mai zaman kansa?
- 1. Ka binciki kanka
- 2. Ƙirƙiri farin cikin ku
- 3. Sanya lokacin shi kadai
- 4. Tabbataccen magana kai
Yawancin mu koyaushe muna cikin rikici a tsakanin su don gane ainihin motsin zuciyar su.
Gwagwarmayar iko na dogaro da tunani vs. soyayya ya rikita masoya da yawa cikin yarda cewa abin da suke ji ga abokin tarayya shine soyayya lokacin, a zahiri, lamari ne na dogaro da tunani.
Nazarin ya ce dogaro da motsin rai ba wani abu bane illa bayyanar halayyar jaraba a cikin alakar mutane da motsin rai mutumdauka matsayin na kasa don riƙe soyayyar abokin soyayyarsu. Irin wannan mutum/mutane sun ƙare rasa asalinsu gaba daya.
Lokacin da muka fara soyayya, mu ma za mu shaku da wannan mutumin.
Yanzu, ƙauna vs haɗe -haɗe ya ƙunshi hakan kowane dangantaka tana da nau'ikan haɗe -haɗe guda biyu - haɗe -haɗen lafiya da marasa lafiya.
Amma waɗannan lafiya haɗe -haɗe suna daga cikin tsari na soyayya na al'ada, sannan akwai abubuwan haɗe -haɗe marasa lafiya waɗanda ke nuna nau'in dogaro ga mutumin da baya haifar da mafi kyawun yanayi don alaƙar soyayya ta bunƙasa.
Bari mu bincika abin da ake nufi da dogaro da tunanin mutum, da kuma abin da yake kama da dangantakar soyayya.
Dogaro da motsin rai vs ƙauna
Yanzu, menene ma'anar lokacin da muke magana game da haɗe -haɗe na motsin rai? Akwai layi na bakin ciki na banbanci wanda ke tsakanin haɗe -haɗe da tausayawa da dogaro da motsin rai.
Shin soyayya tausaya ce? To! Soyayya babban motsin rai ne kuma mutum/mutanen da ke soyayya suna jin daɗin haɗewa da abokin tarayya. Kasancewa da motsin rai ga wani baya nufin kun dogara da su don amincewa.
Dogaro da soyayya ko dogaro da kai yana faruwa da zarar kun fara dogaro da su don ba ku ma'anar asalin ku.
Ba a ɗaukar alaƙar da ke da alaƙa ta ruhaniya azaman abin haɗe mai lafiya, saboda ba ku mallaki hankalin kanku ko 'yancin kai ba. Za ku zama masu dogaro da tausayawa abokin tarayya kuma za ku yi komai don ci gaba da kasancewa cikin alaƙar, koda kuwa ba mai farin ciki bane saboda kuna tsoron kasancewa ɗaya.
Soyayya: shin tausaya ce?
Kamar yadda aka ambata a baya, soyayya ƙauna ce. Ƙauna tana mamaye mu da ji, don haka a wannan ma'anar, hakika ana jin shi a matakin motsin rai. Amma saboda soyayya ta samo asali daga kwakwalwa, akwai a sinadarin neuroscientific zuwa gare shi.
Masu bincike sun yi ƙoƙarin fahimtar kimiyya bayan soyayya amma sun kasa gano dalilin da yasa muke son mutum ɗaya ba wani ba. Amma suna hasashen cewa muna neman abokan haɗin gwiwa waɗanda ke tunatar da mu wani abu da muka fuskanta tun lokacin ƙuruciya.
Don haka idan mun girma a cikin gidan da ba shi da farin ciki, muna jan hankalinmu ga abokan haɗin gwiwa waɗanda za su yi kama da wannan ƙwarewar, a ƙoƙarin ƙoƙarin gyara wannan a matsayin babba.
A akasin wannan, idan mun girma a cikin gida mai farin ciki, za mu nemi abokan haɗin gwiwa waɗanda ke nuna wannan farin ciki.
The tuki zuwa soyayyar zuciya yana jin daɗi, don haka ta wannan hanyar, ƙauna ƙauna ce, wanda ke ba mu babban farin ciki don ƙwarewa. Amma kar a manta cewa akwai sunadarai a bayan wannan motsin, musamman dopamine da serotonin, waɗanda ke mamaye kwakwalwarmu lokacin da muke gani ko tunani game da abin da muke so.
Wadancan sunadarai suna sa mu ji daɗi.
Tambayoyi don warware tatsuniya - dogaro da tunani vs. soyayya
Ta yaya za mu bambanta tsakanin soyayyar lafiya da haɗewa mara lafiya? Wani lokaci layin bambancin yana da haske. Amma idan kuna mamaki, yi wa kanku tambayoyi masu zuwa -
Q1. Kuna farin ciki lokacin da kuke tare?
Amsa. Idan lokacin ku tare yana kashe dariya, magana game da ayyukan gaba ko kawai sanyaya hannu, soyayya ce.
Amma, idan an kashe lokacin ku tare da yin jayayya ko guje wa junan ku, kuma kuna kan kan ku a duk lokacin da abokin tarayya ya bata muku rai, wataƙila dogaro ne na tunani.
Q2. Shin kai ma kuna farin ciki da lokacin "ni"?
Amsa. Idan kuna jin daɗin lokacinku ban da abokin tarayya, amfani da shi zuwa wadatar da lafiyar ku, ganin abokai, yin aiki, duk yayin da kuke jin daɗin lokacin da za ku kasance tare da abokin tarayya, wannan ƙauna ce.
Idan lokacin baya ya cika ku da tsoro kuma kuna tunanin abokin tarayya zai nemo wani yayin da kuka rabu, ya watsar da ku, wannan abin dogaro ne na tunani. Ba wuri mai kyau bane don kan ku ya kasance, dama?
Q3. Shin tunanin rabuwa ya cika muku tsoro?
Amsa. Idan ra'ayin rabuwa ya cika ku da tsoro, bacin rai, da fargaba saboda kawai ba za ku iya fuskantar rayuwa ta ku kaɗai ba, wannan abin dogaro ne na tunani.
Idan kuka kalli yuwuwar rarrabuwa a matsayin abin da yakamata ayi saboda dangantakar bata cika cika ba, duk da ku duka kuna aiki da ita, wannan yana nufin kuna aiki daga wurin soyayya.
Q4. Duniyar ku ta zama babba - Shin wannan soyayya ce?
Amsa. Idan ka duniya ta zama mafi girma godiya ga dangantakar ku, wannan soyayya ce.
Idan, a gefe guda, duniyar ku ta zama ƙarami - kuna yin abubuwa kawai tare da abokin tarayya, kuna ware kanku daga shiga tare da abokai ko abubuwan da ke waje - kuna dogara da tausayawa.
Naku dangantaka tana ba ku ragin zaman lafiya, farin ciki, da ni'ima wanda ke nufin soyayya ce. Sabanin haka, dangantakar ku tana haifar muku da damuwa, kishi, da shakku na kai, to hakan yana nufin kawai kuna dogara ne da motsin rai.
Kun gane kanku a matsayin mai dogaro da motsin rai. Yanzu ta yaya za ku zama masu zaman kansu?
Ta yaya za a kasance mai zaman kansa?
Anan akwai wasu matakai don zama masu zaman kansu na ruhaniya, da haɓaka cikin koshin lafiya!
1. Ka binciki kanka
Dauki gaskiya duba dangantakarku ta baya da ta yanzu kuma lura da halaye.
Shin dukkansu suna nuni ne ga dogaro da motsin rai? Tambayi kanka me yasa kuke neman yarda daga wasu, me yasa kuke jin tsoron kasancewa ɗaya? Shin wannan yana tunatar da ku wani abu tun daga ƙuruciyar ku?
2. Ƙirƙiri farin cikin ku
Fara yin abubuwa a waje da alakar ku, kuma kada ku nemi abokin aikinku izini.
Ba kome ko ya amince da aikin ku ko a'a; abin da ke da mahimmanci shine ku fara ƙara ayyuka a rayuwar ku waɗanda ke sa ku ji daɗi da haɓaka lafiyar ku. Ba ku buƙatar fara babba - gwada ƙara ƙaramin tafiya a waje kowace rana. Da kanka.
3. Sanya lokacin shi kadai
Mutane masu dogaro da soyayya suna da wahalar zama su kaɗai.
Don haka keɓe wasu keɓe lokacin kowace rana, lokaci inda kuke zaune cikin sanin kanku kawai. Kuna iya amfani da wannan lokacin don yin bimbini ko sauraron duniyar ku kawai ... idan kuna iya yin hakan a waje, mafi kyau!
Idan kun fara jin tsoro, kula da numfashin ku don gwadawa da hutawa. Manufar ita ce a gane cewa zama ɗaya ba wuri ne mai ban tsoro ba.
4. Tabbataccen magana kai
Yi wasu sabbin mantras don gaya muku kanku kowace rana. "Ina jin zafi." "Ni zinariya ce." "Ni mai iyawa ne kuma mai ƙarfi" "Na cancanci ƙauna mai kyau".
Waɗannan saƙonnin kai za su taimaka wajen samun ku daga dogaro da wani don farin cikin ku zuwa dogaro da kan ku.