Wadatacce
- 1. Koyon samun nagarta a cikin ajizancin abokin zama
- 2. Kasancewa alhakin mayar da martani ga ayyukan abokin aikin ku
- 3. Ka lura da abubuwa biyu masu kyau abokin aikinka yayi a rana
- 4. Koyan yarda da naka ajizanci
- 5. Koyon zama cikakken mutum ba kamiltaccen mutum ba
Ba sau da yawa cewa ra'ayi wanda ke da ikon canza alaƙa yana da suna mai daɗi don faɗi.
Wabi-sabi (wobby sobby) kalma ce ta Jafananci wacce ke da wahalar faɗi ba tare da murmushi ba wacce ke bayyana babbar hanyar duba alaƙa da kai, sauran mutane, da rayuwa gaba ɗaya. Richard Powell marubucin Wabi Sabi Simple fassara shi da cewa, "Yarda da duniya a matsayin ajizi, ba a gama ba, kuma mai wucewa, sannan a zurfafa da yin murnar wannan gaskiyar.”
Gadon gadon da aka gada daga tsara zuwa tsara yana da daraja, ba duk da alamun amfani da yake nunawa ba, amma saboda waɗancan alamun. Babu wanda ya taɓa da'awar Leonard Cohen, Bob Dylan, ko Lead Belly manyan mawaƙa ne a ma'anar kalmar, amma ƙwararrun mawaƙa ne daga mahangar wabi-sabi.
Anan akwai muhimman abubuwa 5 na alaƙar dangantaka daga manufar Wabi-sabi
1. Koyon samun nagarta a cikin ajizancin abokin zama
Kasancewa wabi-sabi a cikin alaƙa da wani ya wuce haƙuri da ajizancin abokin tarayya, shine samun nagarta a cikin waɗancan abubuwan da ake kira na aibi.
Don samun karbuwa ba duk da ajizanci ba, amma saboda su. Kasancewa wabi-sabi a cikin dangantaka shine daina yin ƙoƙari don "gyara" mutumin, wanda ke buɗe ƙarin lokaci da kuzari don kasancewa tare da ƙarancin rikici.
Dangantaka kan shiga matakai. Na farko shine koyaushe rashin son juna ko “soyayya”. Ana ganin sauran mutum da ma'auratan kusan cikakke. Mataki na biyu shine lokacin da ɗaya ko ɗayan membobin ma'auratan suka fahimci cewa abubuwa, ma'ana ɗayan, ba su cika cikakke ba. Tare da wannan fahimtar, wasu mutane suna yin beli daga cikin dangantakar don sake neman wannan cikakkiyar mutum, abokin rayuwarsu, wanda zai kammala su. Amma abin farin ciki, yawancin mutane sun yanke shawarar ci gaba da kasancewa cikin alaƙar su da yin abubuwa.
Abin takaici, wannan yawanci yana nufin ƙoƙarin canza wani mutum zuwa zama mafi yadda yakamata ta kasance "yakamata" ta kasance. Ma'aurata da yawa suna kashe sauran rayuwarsu a cikin gwagwarmayar canza ɗayan.
Wasu mutane a ƙarshe suna fahimtar wautar ƙoƙarin “gyara” ɗayan mutumin a cikin alaƙar amma suna ci gaba da nuna bacin ran cewa ƙaunataccen su ba zai canza ba. Fushin yana zuwa cikin rikice -rikice amma ba a warware shi ba. Duk da haka, wasu suna iya kaiwa ga matakin jurewa lahani na ƙaunataccensu ba tare da yin fushi ba.
2. Kasancewa alhakin mayar da martani ga ayyukan abokin aikin ku
Ma'aurata kaɗan ne kawai ke gudanar da isa ga matakin da suka fara ganin ayyukan/tunanin/tunanin wani na daban ba a matsayin ƙimarsu ba, amma a matsayin damar yin tunani. Membobin waɗannan ma’auratan da ba kasafai ba sune wadanda suka dauki matsayin; "Ina da alhakin 100% na 50% na wannan alaƙar." Wannan halin ba yana nufin mutum yana da alhakin kashi 50% na abin da ɗayan ke yi ba, amma yana nufin mutum yana da cikakken alhakin yadda mutum zai amsa ayyukan wani.
3. Ka lura da abubuwa biyu masu kyau abokin aikinka yayi a rana
Hanya ɗaya don haɓaka dangantaka mai daɗi shine musayar dare wanda kowane mutum yana ɗaukar alhakin kuskure kuma yana lura da abubuwa biyu masu kyau da ɗayan yayi a ranar.
Ma'aurata 1- “Abu daya da na yi a yau wanda ya rage kusancinmu bai sake kiran ku ba a lokacin da muka amince zan kira. Ina neman afuwa akan hakan. Abu daya da kuka yi don inganta kusancinmu shine lokacin da kuka gaya min cewa kun ji rauni da fushi cewa ban kira ba ba ku yi ihu ba, amma ku faɗi hakan cikin nutsuwa. Abu na biyu da kuka yi wanda ya inganta dangantakarmu a yau shine godiya da na ɗauki tsabtataccen bushewa. Ina son sa lokacin da kuka lura lokacin da na bi yarjejeniya kuma kuka gode min. ”
4. Koyan yarda da naka ajizanci
Mayar da hankali kan kurakuran mutum maimakon na wani yayin da kuma lura da kyawawan abubuwan da sauran mutanen suka yi sun canza salon mu'amala daga wanda galibi ana samun shi a cikin alaƙar rikice -rikice wanda kowane mutum ƙwararre ne kan abin da ya aikata daidai da kuma gwani a kan abin da ɗayan ya aikata ba daidai ba.
5. Koyon zama cikakken mutum ba kamiltaccen mutum ba
Wataƙila mafi ƙalubalen alaƙar da ake yin wabi-sabi da ita. “Launin halayenmu,” da “kasawa” sune suka sanya mu a yau. Waɗannan su ne tunanin mutum, na motsin rai, da na ruhaniya daidai da wrinkles, scars, da layin layi a jikin mu.
Ba za mu taɓa zama kamiltattun mutane ba, amma za mu iya zama cikakkun mutane.Kamar yadda Leonard Cohen ya tsinci kansa cikin waƙar sabi sabi Waka, “Akwai tsaguwa a cikin komai. Ta haka ne hasken ke shiga. ”
