Wadatacce
An taɓa jin maganar, "Matar Farin Ciki, Rayuwa Mai Farin Ciki?" Ina jin maza suna faɗin haka yayin zaman kuma ina jin ƙishi kowane lokaci. Tunanin kasancewa a shirye don barin ra'ayoyin ku da asalin ku don kawai ku guji rashin jin daɗin ɗan rikici? To, mummunan labari: ba ya aiki. Domin duk lokacin da aka furta wannan magana kuma mutumin ya riƙe ainihin abin da yake ji, sakamakon ba lafiya bane rikici, fashewar tausaya ce daga baya. Abinci mai ɗorewa na rashin cika rabin ɗakin ku kusan koyaushe yana haifar da wannan martani mai ɗaci a gaba.
Ihun da za a ji ... Kuma ba saurare
Yawanci maza ne a cikin alaƙa waɗanda ke ƙoƙarin guje wa kowane nau'in rikici tare da abokan hulɗarsu. Ƙara ga cakuda abokin tarayya (yawanci macen) wanda ke ƙoƙarin gano yadda za a sa mutumin ya shiga kuma za ku iya ganin yadda waɗannan rukunoni biyu masu hamayya suke kan hanyar karowa zuwa tashin hankali. Hakanan akwai rikice -rikice na martani na motsa jiki a cikin mutumin; a gefe guda ya fara jin nauyi fiye da kima saboda bai bayyana ra'ayinsa ba da sanin cewa ba za a karɓe shi da kyau ba, amma, a gefe guda, yana da abokin tarayya wanda ke ci gaba da matsa lamba don yin aiki. Wannan sau da yawa yakan haifar da fushi da hasala daga gare shi, maimakon wani abu mai gina jiki. Bayan wannan fashewar ta faru mafi mahimmancin fasaha don warware rikici, sauraro, ya ɓace gaba ɗaya. A wannan lokacin duk abin da ke da mahimmanci ga duka biyun mutane suna ji, ba a zahiri sauraro.
Hanya zuwa lafiya rikici shine ta hanyar sauraro. Idan za ku iya ware buƙatar ɗanku na ciki don a ji shi kuma a tabbatar da shi kuma a zahiri ku saurari abin da abokin aikin ku ke faɗi kuma, mafi mahimmanci, haɗawa da motsin abin da suke faɗi, to kun ɗauki babban mataki ba kawai ga lafiya ba. rikici amma kuma ingantacciyar fahimtar abokin aikin ku da kyakkyawar alaƙa. Kyakkyawan hanyar tunani: maimakon “Ji abin da nake faɗi!” gwada "Taimaka min fahimtar ra'ayin ku da kuma motsin da ke da alaƙa da shi."
Munanan halayen rikici na “Ji abin da nake faɗa!” gabaɗaya kamar yara ne kuma marasa hankali. Yaro ne na ciki wanda aka mai da hankali kan ji da kuma “daidai”. Rikici yana da halin kwace ikon yin tunani. Muna motsawa daga lobe na gabanmu (kwakwalwarmu ta tunani) zuwa amygdala (kwakwalwar motsin zuciyarmu) kuma wannan shine inda ɗanmu na ciki yake son yin nishaɗi.
Hakanan ku kalli: Yadda Ake Samun Farin Ciki a Aurenku
Sacewa
Lokacin da muka amsa daga kwakwalwar motsin zuciyarmu, ba ta da tasiri kuma tana fitowa da talauci. A cikin zafin lokacin muna faɗi abubuwa yayin da muke cikin matukin jirgi kuma galibi waɗancan sune abubuwan da muka koya tun muna ƙanana. Misali, a ce kai dan shekara 12 ne kuma rikici ya kewaye ka. Wataƙila iyayenku ne ke faɗa, wataƙila wani mai kulawa ne. Ba tare da la'akari da mutum ba, wannan rikici da yadda kuke gane shi shine abin da ke manne da ku. Wannan shine abin da ke tasiri sigar balagaggu na waccan ɗan shekara 12 saboda lokacin da kuka shiga rikici, wannan yaron na ciki ya fito kuma duk waɗancan hanyoyin koyan yaƙi sun shigo cikin wasa. Tunda kun ji shi yana ɗan shekara 12, kuna yin jayayya ta hanyar da kuka koya lokacin da kuke wannan shekarun. Wannan shine dalilin da ya sa ba sabon abu bane a ji wani abu kamar, "Kuna ji kamar kuna 12!" a tsakiyar gardama. Wannan yana yin garkuwa da ɗan ku na ciki.
Lokacin da kuka fara ƙara fahimtar martanin ku mara kyau ga abin da kuka hango a matsayin ɗan ƙaramin abu daga wanda ke magana da ku kuma ku nemi haske tare da fitar da ku, kun fara tafarkin rashin lafiya. A ƙarshe, ba wai a ce mace mai farin ciki ba ta cikin ƙarshen sakamakon jin daɗin rayuwa. Amma, wannan ba zai zama rayuwa mai farin ciki da gaske ba. Rayuwa mai farin ciki da gaske ita ce lokacin da mutane biyu suka ji, ana girmama su, kuma ana ƙaunarsu. Ko kuma, koyaushe kuna iya tunanin sa kamar yadda Terry Real (ƙwararren masanin ilimin dangi na duniya, mai magana da marubuci) ke yi, "Kuna iya yin gaskiya ko kuna iya yin aure."