Wadatacce
“Bai taɓa saurare na ba!”, “Koyaushe dole ta kasance mai gaskiya!” Waɗannan su ne ire -iren matsalolin da ma'aurata masu rikici ke fuskanta. Akwai ji na makale da rashin taimako, rashin sanin yadda ake jin ji, fahimta da ta'azantar da mijin ku ko abokin tarayya lokacin da kuka yi yaƙi tare da yanke shawara - ko makaranta ce yaron mu zai je, ko ina muke za mu je hutun mu na gaba ko ma wani abin da ya fi na yau da kullun kamar, hanyar da ta dace don ɗora injin wanki.
Koyaya, lokacin da muka bincika waɗannan yanayin a hankali, zamu ga cewa makasudin yana haifar da damuwa wanda ke cewa, "idan na yarda da hakan shi ko yarda cewa na fahimta ita ra'ayi, to shi/ita za ta yi tunanin hakan su suna daidai kuma I nayi kuskure. Ta haka, ba za a gane abin da nake ji da bukatuna ba ”. Don haka, ma'aurata kan yi haƙa a kan dugadugan su kuma su yi zanga -zanga da ƙarfi tare da fatan an tabbatar da jin daɗin su. Abin takaici, lokacin da bangarorin biyu ke son a fara sauraron su, babu mai sauraro!
Ba ya buƙatar zama wannan mai raɗaɗi. Ina so in ba ma'aurata matakai 3 masu tasiri don taimaka musu su iya watsa rikice -rikice a cikin alakar su, da samun ingantacciyar tattaunawa da tausayawa juna, wanda ke kawo su kusa da juna.
1. Sautin
Ko da yake menene kun ce batutuwa, yana da mahimmanci ku mai da hankali yaya kuna bayyana ra'ayin ku. Sautin yana nuna motsin rai - haushi, rashin haƙuri ko kulawa ta gaske ko tausayi. Tone kuma yana ba abokin haɗin gwiwa fahimtar tsarin tunanin ku. Misali, sautin haushi yana isar da tunani, kamar yadda a cikin “Ba zan iya gaskanta cewa kun manta sake ɗaukar rigunan daga masu tsabtace bushewa ba!”.
Lokacin da abokin aikin ku ya ji sautin ku na zargi ko takaici, kwakwalwarsa ta gano hatsari kuma ta shiga yanayin yaƙin jirgi don kare kai daga barazanar da ake tsammani. A gefe guda kuma, lokacin da sautin ku yake da taushi da tausayi, kwakwalwa tana aika sigina don shakatawa da daidaita kalmomin abokin tarayya ba tare da wani fargaba ba.
Don haka, lokacin da kuka sami kanku cikin tashin hankali da rashin kwanciyar hankali a wannan lokacin, yi zurfin numfashi kuma tunatar da kanku don kiyaye sautin ku mai kyau, kwanciyar hankali da annashuwa.
2. Tsarin motsin rai
Sabanin abin da ma'aurata za su yi imani, ba sau da yawa ƙuduri na matsaloli wanda shine babban burin mafi yawan rikice -rikice, amma tabbatarwa na ji da wahalarsu a wannan lokacin. Koyaya, yana da matukar wahala a yarda da abubuwan da abokin aikin ku ke buƙata yayin da ba ku sarrafa motsin zuciyar ku kuma kuna jin ƙima sosai kuma yana haifar da tattaunawar rikici.
Hanya ɗaya don kawar da kai daga rikice-rikice kuma taimaka muku sarrafawa da daidaita motsin zuciyar ku shine yin al'adar 'ƙarewa'. Haka ne, kun ji daidai! Lokacin fita ba kawai ga yara bane. Hakikanin manufar lokacin fita shine don taimakawa kowane ɓangaren da abin ya shafa ya tattara tunaninsu, ji da bukatunsu da samun ikon daidaita abubuwan da ke haifar da motsin zuciyar su.
Lokacin da kuka sami kanku cikin tashin hankali yayin tattaunawa tare da abokin aikin ku, yi shirin juna don ɗaukar aƙalla mintuna 20 don yin al'ada. Nemo kusurwar shuru kowacce a cikin gidan inda za ku iya kwantar da jijiyoyinku, kuma ku aiwatar da matakai masu zuwa -
1. Takeauki wasu zurfin numfashi, da bincika jikin ku don kowane ƙunci da rashin jin daɗi kuma ku lura da inda kuke riƙe damuwar ku da damuwa.
2. Tambayi kanka, “me nake ji a yanzu?”, “Menene bukatata a wannan lokacin?”, “Me nake so abokin aikina ya sani kuma ya fahimta game da ni a wannan lokacin?”.
Misali, tunaninka na iya yin kama da wannan, “Ina jin damuwa yanzu; Ina buƙatar samun tabbaci cewa ina da mahimmanci a gare ku; Ina son ku fahimci cewa a wannan lokacin ina fama da jin gazawa, tunda ba zan iya tuna aikin da kuka nemi in yi ba ”Wannan aikin motsa jiki yana taimakawa wajen kawar da tunanin ku, ji da bukatun ku a sarari, kuma kama shi a halin yanzu. Don haka, sha'awar sake duba tsoffin abubuwan tunawa da raunuka sun lalace kuma yana taimakawa sosai wajen rage tashin hankali, lokacin da abokan hulɗa zasu iya rabawa da tattaunawa game da tsarin cikin su bayan motsa jiki.
Har ila yau duba: Menene Rikicin Dangantaka?
3. Godiya
Mataki na gaba shine don kowane abokin tarayya ya inganta, yaba da amincewa da yanayin raunin da aka bayyana a cikin sake yin aiki bayan fitowar lokaci. Amincewa yana taimakawa kwantar da hankulan kowane abokin tarayya, kuma suna iya fara zubar da kariya yayin da kwakwalwar su ta daina aika siginar haɗari. Irin wannan mu'amala tana gina mutunci, amincewa da amincewa cikin alaƙar.
Lokacin da ma'aurata suka fahimci zafin juna da buƙatun juna a cikin rikici, suna cikin asali na waje matsalar, da kuma gane cewa duka biyun suna cikin ƙungiya ɗaya. Sun yarda da hakan ku ba matsala; da matsala shine matsala. Daga nan za su iya fara tattaunawa don matsawa zuwa mafita masu amfani.
Lokacin da kowane abokin tarayya a cikin dangantakar zai iya daidaita sautin sadarwar su, daidaitawa da kwantar da hankalin su mai ƙarfi, kuma suna iya kaiwa da bayyana wa ɗayan abin da suke fuskanta a lokacin rikicin su, yana kawo su kusa da yana sanya alaƙar su ta kusanci.